“Ahoy mates!” roared Captain Blackbutt. “We should be a-landin’ within twenty-four hours!”
“Yessir mister captain commander chief sir!” responded the crewmen, for that was how Blackbutt liked to be acknowledged. The old captain grinned and hobbled back to his quarters with some difficulty because of his right peg leg.
Peter Willis stood waiting inside the room. “Ah, Petey, me most trusted advisor,” the captain said, grinning. “What have yer got for me today?”
The slanky man hurried over to the cabinets at the end of the room and brought out a turkey sandwich. He bowed before the captain and placed the sandwich on the table. “H-here’s yer food, cap’n,” said Peter.
“Ah, Petey, yer never fail to please me,” the captain said. He took a heavenly breath, and bit into the turkey. Mayonnaise dripped down his beard and was absorbed like a sponge.
“So Petey,” said the captain with his mouth full, “we are here today to discuss some of the current issues.”
“Issues, sir?”
“Yes, issues. Such as, what do you think of all the treasure we’ve got in the basement?”
“It’s a lot, s-sir.”
“Yes, it’s a lot. And it’s all going to me.” The captain wiped some mayonnaise off his big lips with his hand then sucked his fingers. “What do you think of that, Petey?”
“F-fair, sir.”
“Really? Wouldn’t ya like at least a bit of the gold down there?”
“Y-yes sir.”
“Were ya upset when I said I wouldn’t give ya any?”
“No, sir.”
“You think the other men were upset when I told ‘em that?”
“Maybe.” Peter Willis paused, then caught himself. “Sir.”
“Well, I am suspicious. Very suspicious, Petey.” Piggy the Parrot cranked his head sideways and stared at Peter Willis.
“Brrawwkk!” squawked the parrot. “Picious!”
“Quiet Piggy!” growled the captain.
“Piscious!”
At that, the captain swatted at the bird, who dodged the swing and flew out of the room.
“Shut that door, Petey.” The slanky man obeyed.
“Good boy. Now,” the captain continued, “if the men were upset when I told ‘em the treasure was all mine, what’d ya think they’d do, Petey?”
“I don’t know, sir. What would you do if you were them?” Peter asked, which was very unusual for him to ever ask anything.
“If I were them, I would stuff as much treasure as I could in me pockets and be off with it as soon as we landed. Arrgh! We better check their pockets, Petey!” The captain began to rise out of his seat.
“Wait.” Blackbutt paused and rubbed his chin. “They probably know that we’d check their pockets, wouldn’t they Petey?”
“Maybe sir. What are you suggesting…sir?”
“I’m a-thinkin’ they plan to overthrow me, Petey!”
“Y’mean…mutiny, cap’n?”
“Exactly, Petey! Yer on to something, my boy!” Blackbutt clapped his hands to applaud Peter.
“But surely not all of them, cap’n sir?” asked Peter. The captain looked at him.
“Whaddaya mean, boy?”
“Maybe some of them are, and some of them aren’t, sir.”
“Hm. Yer right, Petey. But how do we find out?”
“Uh…”
“I’ve got it!” shouted the captain. “We go up to each of ‘em and talk to them! Trick them into tellin’ us what they’re thinkin’!” The captain got up and slapped his thigh. “You’ve really outdone yerself this time, Petey!”
“Er…thank you, sir.”
“Help me up!”
Once the captain got on his feet, the two men exited the cabin, ready to interview any suspicious looking crewmen.
“Ahoy, Milford!” roared the captain, patting Wally Milford on the back. “Me good friend Petey wants to ask you some questions!”
Milford looked at Peter like he was going to kiss him. “You got questions for me, Pete?”
“Uh…kinda. Do you feel like the captain is selfish to keep all the treasure below for himself?” Peter asked as calmly as he could.
“’Course he is! Why…wait a hen-pecking second…you guys are trying to set me up, aren’t you?”
“We just want to know-”
“Argh! I’m outta here!” With that, Wally Milford ran away. He accidentally ran into a wall and knocked himself out, collapsing onto the floor.
“Aye, he’s a suspicious one, alright,” acknowledged Blackbutt. “Hey…what’s this, matey?”
The captain bent down and picked up…a piece of gold!
“It’s part of me gold, Petey!” shrieked the captain. “Who do ya think took it, Petey?”
“I don’t know, sir.”
“Well, don’t just stand there, matey! Go talk to some more crew men!”
“Yes sir! Right away mister captain sir!” Peter Willis pulled up his sagging pants and sprinted to look for more crew members.
“I think I’d better investigate this myself…” growled the captain.
“Captain Blackbutt!” called a voice from behind. The captain swiveled around on his good leg.
“Richie Bergson! What is it, boy?”
“I just heard Peter Willis talking to some crew men! They’re planning to overthrow you, cap’n!”
Blackbutt gasped. “No! Not me boy Petey!”
“I’m afraid it’s true, cap’n sir.”
“Well we gotta do something, me boy Richie! What do you propose we do?”
“You should find Petey and throw him overboard, and I’ll guard the treasure to make sure he doesn’t get any more of it!”
“Grand idea, Richie! I’ll go get that traitor!”
The captain hobbled as fast as he could, which was equivalent to the top speed of a crippled turtle. Luckily for him, Peter Willis hadn’t gone far.
“Arrgh, Petey!” roared Blackbutt. “Get yer traitorous behind over here!”
“W-what are you talking about, mister captain sir…majestic noble commander boss ruler leader imperial royal chief?”
“Arrgh! You betrayed me, Petey?”
“What! Who told you that obnoxious, unbelievable, implausible, far-fetched, fanciful, unlikely, unfathomable lie?”
“A very trustworthy source of mine…Richie Bergson!” snarled Blackbutt.
As soon as the captain said that, Peter staggered back three steps. When he regained his composure, he spoke.
“Well sir, you will be pleased to know that me and Ulysses Boyman have discovered that it is not I who is the traitor but Richie!”
“WHAT! That scum tricked me then!”
“Where is he now?” asked Ulysses.
“He went to guard the treasure from you…HOLY PAPARAZZI! He plans to steal it from me!”
“Let’s get ‘em, cap’n!”
The three of them ran to the basement, where Blackbutt’s precious treasure was kept. But when they arrived, they saw Richie Bergson coming out on deck!
“The treasures gone!” burst out Richie.
Those words hung in the air as the captain processed it.
“All of it?” cried Blackbutt.
“Not all of it. But most of it!” replied Richie.
“Yeah…” growled Ulysses. “It’s probably in your pockets!”
“No! I don’t have any! Look!” Richie ripped his pockets inside out furiously to prove that he was innocent. He ripped a little too much and his pants flew off, revealing pink boxers dotted with smiley faces.
“Then where is it then?” asked Peter.
“I don’t know!”
“You must’ve taken it!”
The four of them argued loudly, talking all at once, when suddenly they heard a ‘plop!’
Piggy the Parrot then flew past them and into the basement. Everyone watched in stunned silence as the parrot grabbed a piece of gold and tossed it into the sea. The parrot looked at them and smiled.
“Piscious!” he squawked.
“Well,” said Peter. “I guess that settles it. Are we all friends now?”
“Of course!” the other three responded simultaneously.
“Good. Now let’s count the rest of the treasure and split it evenly among all of us!”
“Grand idea, me boy Petey! And you can be me most trusted advisor again!” The captain grinned happily.
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