The Official Ultrakids Website
 
For the past two weeks, I've written about 20,000 words of my novel. It was pretty easy, I had the plot laid out and knew where I was going.
Until last Monday.
That was when I hit a bump on the road. It was no ordinary bump. It was about the size of...the earth. The only way to get around it was to go all the way back to the beginning and restart.
Some people call it Writer's Block. I call it the Cow in a Ventilation Duct. Because it's a lot funnier than just saying "I have writer's block." Instead, you can say, "I have a cow in my ventilation duct."
Some people will tell you that there's no such thing as a cow in a ventilation duct. Well, yes, there is no such thing as that...until you see it for yourself.
You know the cow needs to be remooved. So you pull on its tail and tug. After three hours of tugging, the cow is now one complete centimeter further out of the duct than it was three hours ago.
There's no easy way to remoove the cow. The only other solution is to just destroy the duct. Of course, that will defeat the purpose of writing and will just give you even more work.
So here I am, staring at this cow who's mooing hysterically at me, wanting to be remooved. I'm tired. I don't want to. But I have to sooner or later or this book will never come out.

Yeah, that's all I gotta say.
 
 
This is one of the most hilarious things I've ever seen. I feel like emailing this to Obama.
 
 
ultrakids four-lse

Yes, production has started on the new Ultrakids movie! I am really excited about the incredible script. The approximate run time is about 3 hours long, making this a true epic. I forgot to inform you guys a couple weeks ago that we were all funded. Filming will start on July 30, 2009, all over NYC.

Click the picture for a better quality picture and more information!

 
 

Sorry I haven't been posting in a while. There was the bug-like thing in my Weebly editor that prevented me from editing anything. It wasn't really a bug...in fact, I'm not sure at all what it was (if it was even a thing), but I kinda maneuvered around it and here I am.

Well, for the past week and a half, I've been working at my church's summer program.  I came to realize a while back that most VBS programs that some churches employ are primarily aimed at its own church members.

This is different.

About 4% of the kids that are registered in the program attend the service on Sundays. For some kids, it's their first time ever being in a church, or hearing about God. In my opinion, it's one of the greatest way to minister to the unsaved children in our area.

So I've been teaching the kids, trying to imitate the love of Christ to them. Which is hard, considering the fact that I'm not Christ.

 
 


This is part of a JellyTelly (see links on front page)  segment where Alfred Wilburwale tells you a tale about patience.  From the guy who made Veggietales, you will not see anything like this in 'regular' Christian kids shows. Angel Wars is the only exception.

Oh yeah, and I want this kind of internet video technology to stream my videos.

 
 

I went to Niagara Falls. Here are some photos.

Picture
This is Tim sitting by our hotel window. It was the first picture I took. After this one, I decided to try to be artsy whenever I took photos. I took about ten photos of Tim in this pose, all from different angles.
Oh yeah, and if you click on the pictures, you can them in full res.
Picture
Tim kinda figured out that he was being used as my model for photos. So whenever I called him and asked him to stand in a pose for a minute, he wouldn't complain. Of oourse, he never complains. What a great brother.
Picture
For some reason, Weebly has this weird bug when it comes to uploading pictures. But I'll try to maneuver around it. That's how I got so computer savvy. Instead of confronting the problem, I sneaked around it then deducted what was wrong from the way I snuck around it.
You're probably thinking, "Where are the falls?" Well, be patient, we're still in the hotel. This is by the same window as in the first picture. I positioned the camera just right so the sun was at Tim's eye. This is what an Ultrakids theatrical poster with Laserboy on it would look like.
 
 

For the second time in my life, I am put on a chain mail that I have nothing to do with. It was some kids from New Jersey complaining to each about the need to get a Jeopardy answer right and to stop insulting his sister, or something like that.

Thanks to Microsoft Outlook, I was able to filter all their replies into a second junk mail folder.  But slightly out of curiosity, I read a couple of them as they came in.

The kids were obviously starting to get annoyed with the chain (as I mentioned, this is the second time). They start posting messages like "This is the last message," then someone else would reply and say "No, this is the last message," and so on. Then one kid, frustrated, drops a curse word.

I couldn't believe my eyes.

 
 

Warning: the following banter is a total waste of time to read. The following is just to show how I practice my personal style of writing.

Something strange is afoot. Afoot? That would smell. Please put your sock and shoe back on. In fact, better put them on for both feet. Afeet? No, I don’t think that’s a word. What does afoot mean anyway? Let’s check the thesaurus. With Microsoft Word, it’s as easy as a click of a button….which it is.
    Afoot is synonymous with the following: happening, going on, occurring, taking place, up (hey, that’s a Pixar movie coming out), in the works, and stirring. Ooh, stirring. A monster is stirring. A monster is a foot, I mean, afoot. A foot monster wouldn’t be that scary. Unless it was a really big foot. Then it would stomp on all of us. But it would be easy to defeat because all we have to do is destroy its big toe. Did you know that without your big toe your balance would completely give away? I guess a foot monster isn’t so bad after all.
    Now, if the monster was really afoot, not a foot but afoot…you know what I mean…that would be scary because there would be no definition for what the monster is. It might be dragon. It might be a cockroach. We wouldn’t know until we saw it. But it might be a cockroach, which isn’t that scary. So we’re not actually getting scared by the monster, we’re getting scared because of the suspense the unknown monster brings.
    So it we’re all frightened because it might be a dragon, we should just tell ourselves it is a cockroach. That would annihilate (nice word) all suspense and fear. Of course, we would be very unprepared if it were really a dragon and that would be bad.
 
 

Paul Minitas
Had tendinitis
And then his friends said, "Please delight us
By treating us to dinner tonight
So right
This way, and let us hurry
Before your body we'll need to bury
We're very, very sad, you know
To see such a good friend go
And by the way, who'll be your heir?
We're your only friends, we fear
So won't you split it evenly among us
We'll spend it wisely, oh yes we promise."
But when Peter John said "Fifty percent!
I'll get what I'm due so I can buy a new tent!"
Then Ricky Davis put up a fit.
"I deserve way more than you, lil' twit!"
Marty Cordova
(his nickname was Grover)
Started playing 'Red Rover, Red Rover'
And tackled Ricky and Pete to the ground
"That money's mine so you two I'll pound!"
Then Paul Minitas
Said, "Please don't fightus
It just so happens that tendinitis
Only causes temporary pain."
And all of his friends looked at him in disdain.
"It's not death-threatening," wise Paul explained.

 
 

Paul Minitas
Had gingivitis
And all his friends said, "Please invite us
Over to your house to play
So we could say
Good-bye
Before you die
It was nice knowing you.
Where's all your money going to?"

But Paul Minitas
Said, "It's alrightus.
It happens that my gingivitis
Will not cause any kind of death.
It will only cause some stinky breath
So there's no reason to worry or fear
Although I doubt you even cared
And even if I passed away
You would not get any of my money."


P.S. The last word 'money' is pronounced 'moe-nay,' like Monet. Y'know, the famous artist?